Meet Dr. Simone Herrlinger

When it is time to Say Good Bye

It was a cold winter Monday morning when I knew it was time to let my Tipsy go. My little old lady as I affectionately called her; because at 15.5 years old she was still doing pretty good - that was until two days ago. She suddenly stopped eating, was vomiting and so not herself. Her eyes had lost their sparkle and her steps had lost their bounce. I knew it was time but I kept begging her to magically get better. She didn’t.

I sat on the floor with her most of the night just trying to absorb all the feels, the smells, just trying to make these memories last forever. I decided to take her on one last road trip because she loved car rides. Whenever I asked her if she wanted to go on a car ride, her ears would perk up, her butt would start to wiggle and she would tilt her head to one side. But that morning when I lifted her into the car she just laid down and didn’t move. She didn’t sit and look out the window like she normally does. She just looked at me with her big brown eyes and you could just tell that they were just so tired. So instead of our road trip we drove to the clinic with my arm stretched to the back seat and her head resting on my hand because she had no energy left. I watched the clock the whole ride - 15 min until we would be at work - that meant my last 15 min with her. Then it was 10, then 5. The closer we got the more my heart felt heavy and hurt. I knew it was time but I didn’t want it to be time. I wanted her to make it to 16, and then 17 and then 18 - it was never going to be enough.

We arrived at work and I had to coax her to get up and lifted her out of the car. She slowly headed towards the clinic. She found some strength when she got there, walked over to everyone with a slight tail wag to say hello - or perhaps goodbye. We slowly made it through the clinic and she laid on her bed exhausted. She had spent so much time there over the last 2 years that it was like a second home to her. I sat with her thanking her for being such an amazing dog, friend and companion. I gave her an injection to make her relax and I cradled her in my arms until she fell asleep. Then while kissing her forehead I let her go.

The next day was the hardest. I woke up that morning and saw her empty bed and it hit me all over again. Walked past her dog bowl and didn’t have to fill it, went through Tim hortons and only ordered 2 timbits instead of the usual 4, and when I looked in my rear view mirror she wasn’t there. My heart felt like it had the biggest hole.

I had started doing yearly mini senior photo shoots with her since 2019 when I noticed she was going more gray, her eyes were cloudier and her cheekbones more prominent but she kept going and going! She was on two different types of pain medication as most of her spine was fused but she still jumped out of her kennel at the end of the day when we went home. In January I had the urge to do a memorial photo for her. Looking back now it was exactly 1 month before I had to say goodbye. She did amazing making it to 15.5 years of age - I know how lucky I was but it’s just never enough. What I wouldn’t give for just one more day, one more time holding her soft paw, one more time where she would follow me wherever I went, just one more time… (and then one more and another one more). But ultimately one more was not worth it when she was suffering. As much as I wanted to hang on, I owed it to her to let her go peacefully.

As veterinarians, we play such a big role with end of life discussions and euthanasias. We know how difficult this decision is to make, how hard it is to go through and how hard it is after it’s done. We are here to support during this process and hope you feel comfortable reaching out.

Tipsy 2006-2022.

Rest easy baby girl. . You are so loved and oh so missed.